6:00 AM - Moving day.....can't sleep this morning so I think I'll pack some boxes.
6:00 PM - Pretty much everything is moved into my new digs......furniture arranged....it feels like home.....and all of a sudden my appetite is raging back.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Day 7
5:40 AM -Today I open my new bank accounts and sign the papers at my new address......maybe finally I can begin this new phase of my life and start to emotionally heal.
8.:50 AM - Feeling absolutely horrible today.
1:00 PM - Feeling better. New checking and savings accounts open, new living quarters secured. Ate a hamburger that actually tasted good.
8.:50 AM - Feeling absolutely horrible today.
1:00 PM - Feeling better. New checking and savings accounts open, new living quarters secured. Ate a hamburger that actually tasted good.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Day 6
5:35 AM - Last night started to get ugly.......she doesn't seem too keen on splitting anything....according to her, she needs the money worse than I do.
10:34 AM - Before I left the house this morning we actually had a good civilized discussion. When I got to work, I read an email from her mom that made me feel a whole lot better...I have to try to eat something....anything.
1:00 PM - First ray of sunshine since last Saturday morning....found my place to live.
10:34 AM - Before I left the house this morning we actually had a good civilized discussion. When I got to work, I read an email from her mom that made me feel a whole lot better...I have to try to eat something....anything.
1:00 PM - First ray of sunshine since last Saturday morning....found my place to live.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Day 5
5:30 AM - Well, she's here at the house staying in one of the spare bedrooms. We had a pretty civilized discussion last night and I asked her if she's been in contact with this pervert from Florida. She said she has been and they don't rule out him moving up here into my house when I'm gone. I get a sense that the plan is to get me out of here as soon as possible.
8:10 AM - Made it to work safely....had to pull over to the side of the road because I was shaking so much. I can honestly say this is the worst I've ever felt. Any sense of self worth I had is gone.
10:40 AM - I literally feel nauseous and physically ill......I'm so exhausted.
2:25 PM - Looked at an historic apartment with high ceilings and a skylight about two blocks from where I work....I'm leaning towards it.....it's depressing having to do this.
8:10 AM - Made it to work safely....had to pull over to the side of the road because I was shaking so much. I can honestly say this is the worst I've ever felt. Any sense of self worth I had is gone.
10:40 AM - I literally feel nauseous and physically ill......I'm so exhausted.
2:25 PM - Looked at an historic apartment with high ceilings and a skylight about two blocks from where I work....I'm leaning towards it.....it's depressing having to do this.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Day 4
5:30 AM - I actually had a full night's sleep....but I'm really tired this morning.
9:30 AM - My dad called me again this morning....he's not doing very well heathwise, but he still finds time to call every morning.
2:40 PM - My sister Shelly from Atlanta called with sage advice....when I'm in new digs and surrounded by my own stuff, it's time for reflection and trying to figure out why I keep getting myself in these situations...even though I know why.
9:30 AM - My dad called me again this morning....he's not doing very well heathwise, but he still finds time to call every morning.
2:40 PM - My sister Shelly from Atlanta called with sage advice....when I'm in new digs and surrounded by my own stuff, it's time for reflection and trying to figure out why I keep getting myself in these situations...even though I know why.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day 3
5:15 AM - Finally had a decent night's sleep....still tired and no appetite.....Dreading going to work.
8:30 AM - Brief follow up call from my dad makes me feel better.....still haven't told any co-workers......despite this being the lowest point in my life so far, the world keeps going around me.
10:00 AM - Told Sue here at work about what is going on so she'll be ready with paperwork when I am. Going to check out possible new digs at noon.
11:50 AM - Well what do you know.....my checking account has been drained.
1:16 PM - Filled out an app for new digs....had my first food since Saturday morning.
4:20 PM - This morning I was dreading going to work....now I'm dreading going home to the empty silent house.....I'm glad I have Otis and Barney.
8:00 PM -Stopped at the local watering hole....explained the situation.....Big Dan surprisingly understanding.....Lyndsey upset.
8:30 AM - Brief follow up call from my dad makes me feel better.....still haven't told any co-workers......despite this being the lowest point in my life so far, the world keeps going around me.
10:00 AM - Told Sue here at work about what is going on so she'll be ready with paperwork when I am. Going to check out possible new digs at noon.
11:50 AM - Well what do you know.....my checking account has been drained.
1:16 PM - Filled out an app for new digs....had my first food since Saturday morning.
4:20 PM - This morning I was dreading going to work....now I'm dreading going home to the empty silent house.....I'm glad I have Otis and Barney.
8:00 PM -Stopped at the local watering hole....explained the situation.....Big Dan surprisingly understanding.....Lyndsey upset.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Day 2 - Continued
5:08 PM - Still can't seem to sleep....I guess I'll have to wait until tonight for exhaustion to set in.
6:15 PM - A shower and a shave never felt better.
7:09 PM - The emotions are running the gambit now....I actually am missing her.
6:15 PM - A shower and a shave never felt better.
7:09 PM - The emotions are running the gambit now....I actually am missing her.
Day 2
Sunday July 25th
1:30 AM - Sleep is sporadic at best, I seem to sleep for half an hour and then wake up with a start. My headache hasn't subsided. My Pugs are stuck to me like glue....they know I'm in a lot of pain.
6:30 AM - The sun peaking up over the horizon makes me feel a little better. My headache hasn't gotten any better. I have a lot of mowing and yard work to do and I'll probably do it just to keep myself occupied today even though I'll be moving out soon.
6:41 AM - I can't stop thinking about all the good times we've had and that brings back the tears.
8:42 AM - More digging reveals that her and Joe from Fort Meyers, FLA have a Youtube page together, a photobook page, and a website under construction. I need to call the family but everyone seems to be out...probably at church.
9:14 AM - So quiet here at the house. Can't seem to get anyone on the phone....I've never felt so alone.
11:19 AM - Finally spoke to my sister Shelly in Atlanta.....feel much better.
11.45 AM - Back to being quiet.....feeling alone.
12:30 PM - Talked to my dad on the phone. He put on a brave supporting face despite the fact that I know that it really got to him as he was quite fond of her. When we hung up he said he loved me which he hasn't done in decades.
1:00 PM - My future ex-wife finally came back to get a few things and we chatted civilly for several minutes. I told he I missed the woman that taught me how to ski and backpack and who's name was engraved along with mine on our cake pan the realtor gave us when we moved into our home.
2:15 PM - She just went back down the driveway tearing up as she got into her vehicle. Guess she should have thought of that before bringing "Joe" into our lives and our home.
3:00 PM - Talked to my brother. I hate dropping news like this on my family....he was on his way to family day at the lake....what a send off for the poor guy.
4:23 PM - Just finished up talking to my younger sister.....Thank God the brutal part about telling the family is over.....I'm just so tired.....still have no appetite.
1:30 AM - Sleep is sporadic at best, I seem to sleep for half an hour and then wake up with a start. My headache hasn't subsided. My Pugs are stuck to me like glue....they know I'm in a lot of pain.
6:30 AM - The sun peaking up over the horizon makes me feel a little better. My headache hasn't gotten any better. I have a lot of mowing and yard work to do and I'll probably do it just to keep myself occupied today even though I'll be moving out soon.
6:41 AM - I can't stop thinking about all the good times we've had and that brings back the tears.
8:42 AM - More digging reveals that her and Joe from Fort Meyers, FLA have a Youtube page together, a photobook page, and a website under construction. I need to call the family but everyone seems to be out...probably at church.
9:14 AM - So quiet here at the house. Can't seem to get anyone on the phone....I've never felt so alone.
11:19 AM - Finally spoke to my sister Shelly in Atlanta.....feel much better.
11.45 AM - Back to being quiet.....feeling alone.
12:30 PM - Talked to my dad on the phone. He put on a brave supporting face despite the fact that I know that it really got to him as he was quite fond of her. When we hung up he said he loved me which he hasn't done in decades.
1:00 PM - My future ex-wife finally came back to get a few things and we chatted civilly for several minutes. I told he I missed the woman that taught me how to ski and backpack and who's name was engraved along with mine on our cake pan the realtor gave us when we moved into our home.
2:15 PM - She just went back down the driveway tearing up as she got into her vehicle. Guess she should have thought of that before bringing "Joe" into our lives and our home.
3:00 PM - Talked to my brother. I hate dropping news like this on my family....he was on his way to family day at the lake....what a send off for the poor guy.
4:23 PM - Just finished up talking to my younger sister.....Thank God the brutal part about telling the family is over.....I'm just so tired.....still have no appetite.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Day One
10:26 PM - She just drove out of the driveway to her sister's house. She had been corresponding with a man from out of state that she met on the computer. I saw chat logs, emails, and pictures between the two of them that literally made me go into the bathroom and vomit. You think you know someone after living with them for several years. Her response: Those were my private computer files and none of your business".....My response: "I won't tolerate this and we're over."
After further reading, it turns out they're tossing around the idea of him moving up here and she would end up leaving me. What it boils down to is that I'll be 44 in about three weeks and I have to start over completely. I do have my two Pugs.
10:53 PM - After reading some of the so-called love letters between my wife and Joe from Florida......the tears have finally started. My Pugs know something is wrong.....how could this happen to me.
11:00 PM - My head is pounding...time to get some sleep.....or at least try. I miss the woman I married.
After further reading, it turns out they're tossing around the idea of him moving up here and she would end up leaving me. What it boils down to is that I'll be 44 in about three weeks and I have to start over completely. I do have my two Pugs.
10:53 PM - After reading some of the so-called love letters between my wife and Joe from Florida......the tears have finally started. My Pugs know something is wrong.....how could this happen to me.
11:00 PM - My head is pounding...time to get some sleep.....or at least try. I miss the woman I married.
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