Day 28

7:00 AM - I've emerged from the darkness into the light...finally.

Day 25

8:22 AM - Note to self: Chinese cuisine and beer = tossing and turning all night long.

Day 24

7:12 AM - Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

Day 23

10:26 AM - I went to bed around midnight last night and actually slept straight through until 9:00 this morning.....I haven't done that in a long..long...time.

Day 22

7:49 AM - Laundry's going....boys are snoozing on the couch.....morning coffee is steaming....Ghost Adventures on TV.......I'm feeling very relaxed.

Day 21

3:30 PM - Don't look now...things are starting to feel normal.

Day 20

10:00 AM - Brutal heat and humidity.....good thing the boys are in air conditioned comfort.

8:30 PM - Watching the Twins - White Sox...having a cold bottle of beer...life is becoming good.

Day 19

9:00 AM - I slept a half hour extra this morning, and for the first time, I didn't feel that little twinge of depression when I first woke up.

12:30 PM - I'm really finding out who my friends are through all that I've been going through......

The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. ~ Ulysses S. Grant

Day 18

8:00 AM - Gets a little easier every day. I'm going to see what happens leaving the boys run loose in the house and not gated in the bathroom.

Day 17

8:30 AM -Cable and broadband FINALLY hooked up.

8:00 PM - Talked to my dad tonight...he's been having cancer issues over the Summer and today he learned that the cancer has spread to his bones....no treatment possible ....prognosis 3 to 4 months.

Day 16

7:20 AM - Dogs are walked coffee's made and I slept 8 hours straight for the first time in a long time.

Day 15

7:00 AM - Took Otis and Barney for their first morning walk around the block. No tangled leashes this time and a lady stopped her car and complimented how adorable they were.....enjoying Saturday morning coffee.

10:00 PM - Finally feeling comfortable....having a pizza and movie night with Otis and Barney....able to relax...finally.

Day 14

6:00 AM - My puggers finally arrive today.

1:00 PM - Otis and Barney are resting in air conditioned comfort in our new home.

Day 13

6:00 AM - As every day goes by, the less I think of the past.

9:00 AM - Congratulations to my good friend Dustin who just won his division at the 2010 World Horseshoe Pitching Championships in Cedar Rapids, IA.

Day 12

7:15 AM - As I sit here in my quiet home enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day, I'm slowly starting to realize that the financial stress, the feelings of being discarded, and my wife spending hours Skypeing with a man in Florida she's never met while I'm in the same house are finally behind me.....the future is starting now.

4:30 PM - Getting to be my old self.....mood much improved today.

Day 11

6:30 AM - Had a really weird dream last night about my eventual ex-wife. I was with her and her extended family as some place of retreat. Everyone was having a great time and there were people coming in and out serving drinks and food. When I asked for something to eat and drink I was told by the serving staff that I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. When I got in my car and drove down the road the steering wheel came off in my hands and the car came to a stop on the edge of a large precipice. An older couple came and help pull the car from the edge and I was told I had to go back....I then went back inside where the festivities continued but nobody would talk to me or acknowledge that I was there.

2:00 PM - Been home for lunch again...had lunch and enjoyed the air conditioning....I'm getting used to this in a hurry.

Day 10

6:33 AM - Just woke up in a new place for the first time in years.....very quiet and lonely.

10:30 AM - Electricity switched over and cable & internet on the way.......my laptop picks up about three wi-fi networks so I have net access until the real thing gets here. I'm finally starting to relax just a little.

1:00 PM - Went HOME and relaxed at lunch for the first time in years.....I can get used to this.

9:00 PM - Dishes are put away and I had my first meal here at the new home. Sandwiches and Coke...never tasted so good. BTW...I was reading one of my future ex-wife's boyfriend's poems....the one about those two ruling in hell together........he spelled the word "Demons"...."Deamons".....we're dealing with an intellectual heavyweight here.

Day 9

6:30 AM - The last morning that I wake up in this house. Tonight I'll go to bed for the first time in years without anyone else under my roof.

7:00 PM - I'll be damned if this place isn't becoming a home. Pictures on the walls now, electronics hooked up, and music filling the place.

Day 8

6:00 AM - Moving day.....can't sleep this morning so I think I'll pack some boxes.

6:00 PM - Pretty much everything is moved into my new digs......furniture arranged....it feels like home.....and all of a sudden my appetite is raging back.

Day 7

5:40 AM -Today I open my new bank accounts and sign the papers at my new address......maybe finally I can begin this new phase of my life and start to emotionally heal.

8.:50 AM - Feeling absolutely horrible today.

1:00 PM - Feeling better. New checking and savings accounts open, new living quarters secured. Ate a hamburger that actually tasted good.

Day 6

5:35 AM - Last night started to get ugly.......she doesn't seem too keen on splitting anything....according to her, she needs the money worse than I do.

10:34 AM - Before I left the house this morning we actually had a good civilized discussion. When I got to work, I read an email from her mom that made me feel a whole lot better...I have to try to eat something....anything.

1:00 PM - First ray of sunshine since last Saturday morning....found my place to live.

Day 5

5:30 AM - Well, she's here at the house staying in one of the spare bedrooms. We had a pretty civilized discussion last night and I asked her if she's been in contact with this pervert from Florida. She said she has been and they don't rule out him moving up here into my house when I'm gone. I get a sense that the plan is to get me out of here as soon as possible.

8:10 AM - Made it to work safely....had to pull over to the side of the road because I was shaking so much. I can honestly say this is the worst I've ever felt. Any sense of self worth I had is gone.

10:40 AM - I literally feel nauseous and physically ill......I'm so exhausted.

2:25 PM - Looked at an historic apartment with high ceilings and a skylight about two blocks from where I work....I'm leaning towards it.....it's depressing having to do this.

Day 4

5:30 AM - I actually had a full night's sleep....but I'm really tired this morning.

9:30 AM - My dad called me again this morning....he's not doing very well heathwise, but he still finds time to call every morning.

2:40 PM - My sister Shelly from Atlanta called with sage advice....when I'm in new digs and surrounded by my own stuff, it's time for reflection and trying to figure out why I keep getting myself in these situations...even though I know why.

Day 3

5:15 AM - Finally had a decent night's sleep....still tired and no appetite.....Dreading going to work.

8:30 AM - Brief follow up call from my dad makes me feel better.....still haven't told any co-workers......despite this being the lowest point in my life so far, the world keeps going around me.

10:00 AM - Told Sue here at work about what is going on so she'll be ready with paperwork when I am. Going to check out possible new digs at noon.

11:50 AM - Well what do you know.....my checking account has been drained.

1:16 PM - Filled out an app for new digs....had my first food since Saturday morning.

4:20 PM - This morning I was dreading going to work....now I'm dreading going home to the empty silent house.....I'm glad I have Otis and Barney.

8:00 PM -Stopped at the local watering hole....explained the situation.....Big Dan surprisingly understanding.....Lyndsey upset.

Day 2 - Continued

5:08 PM - Still can't seem to sleep....I guess I'll have to wait until tonight for exhaustion to set in.

6:15 PM - A shower and a shave never felt better.

7:09 PM - The emotions are running the gambit now....I actually am missing her.

Day 2

Sunday July 25th
1:30 AM - Sleep is sporadic at best, I seem to sleep for half an hour and then wake up with a start. My headache hasn't subsided. My Pugs are stuck to me like glue....they know I'm in a lot of pain.

6:30 AM - The sun peaking up over the horizon makes me feel a little better. My headache hasn't gotten any better. I have a lot of mowing and yard work to do and I'll probably do it just to keep myself occupied today even though I'll be moving out soon.

6:41 AM - I can't stop thinking about all the good times we've had and that brings back the tears.

8:42 AM - More digging reveals that her and Joe from Fort Meyers, FLA have a Youtube page together, a photobook page, and a website under construction. I need to call the family but everyone seems to be out...probably at church.

9:14 AM - So quiet here at the house. Can't seem to get anyone on the phone....I've never felt so alone.

11:19 AM - Finally spoke to my sister Shelly in Atlanta.....feel much better.

11.45 AM - Back to being quiet.....feeling alone.

12:30 PM - Talked to my dad on the phone. He put on a brave supporting face despite the fact that I know that it really got to him as he was quite fond of her. When we hung up he said he loved me which he hasn't done in decades.

1:00 PM - My future ex-wife finally came back to get a few things and we chatted civilly for several minutes. I told he I missed the woman that taught me how to ski and backpack and who's name was engraved along with mine on our cake pan the realtor gave us when we moved into our home.

2:15 PM - She just went back down the driveway tearing up as she got into her vehicle. Guess she should have thought of that before bringing "Joe" into our lives and our home.

3:00 PM - Talked to my brother. I hate dropping news like this on my family....he was on his way to family day at the lake....what a send off for the poor guy.

4:23 PM - Just finished up talking to my younger sister.....Thank God the brutal part about telling the family is over.....I'm just so tired.....still have no appetite.

Day One

10:26 PM - She just drove out of the driveway to her sister's house. She had been corresponding with a man from out of state that she met on the computer. I saw chat logs, emails, and pictures between the two of them that literally made me go into the bathroom and vomit. You think you know someone after living with them for several years. Her response: Those were my private computer files and none of your business".....My response: "I won't tolerate this and we're over."
After further reading, it turns out they're tossing around the idea of him moving up here and she would end up leaving me. What it boils down to is that I'll be 44 in about three weeks and I have to start over completely. I do have my two Pugs.

10:53 PM - After reading some of the so-called love letters between my wife and Joe from Florida......the tears have finally started. My Pugs know something is wrong.....how could this happen to me.

11:00 PM - My head is pounding...time to get some sleep.....or at least try. I miss the woman I married.